How to De-Escalate Conflict With Coworkers? [Beginner’s Guide]

Nowadays, it seems as though most people have either personally experienced or been witness to conflict at work. If this has happened to you, you may have found yourself in an uncomfortable situation in which anger seems to have taken hold of all the participants, and there seems to be no easy way to de-escalate the conflict in an efficient and quick way that will leave all the parties involved satisfied. Fortunately, these days there are plenty of strategies that you can use to diffuse this anger and help your coworkers regain control. You may want to read more about them or see what suggestions are available here to be able to face the next conflict with an arsenal of useful tools.

What Are the Most Common Reasons Why There Is Conflict at Work?

There are many possible reasons why colleagues get angry at work. Among the most common triggers for employee anger, you may find:

• Stress: Dealing with instability, uncertainty, pressure, and demands in the workplace.
• Relationships: Conflict with coworkers, leaders playing favorites, or not feeling accepted.
• Injustice: Witnessing unfair or degrading acts against a colleague, biased and insensitive management practices, or seriously flawed company policies.
• Personal issues: Struggling with problems outside the scope of work or having to deal with underlying mental health conditions that affect their mood and behavior.

Anger can be a natural and healthy emotion, but it can also be harmful if it is expressed at the wrong time or in an unprofessional manner. It can affect the productivity, morale, and well-being of the team members or the team as a whole. Therefore, it is important to learn how to deal with angry colleagues in a constructive and respectful way.

What Techniques Can Be Used to De-Escalate Conflict at Work?

Conflict with coworkers can be stressful and unpleasant, but there are some techniques you can use to de-escalate and resolve it in an efficient and respectful way. Here are some techniques:

Practice Compassionate Listening and Focused Communication Skills

One of the most important elements of managing workplace conflict is to apply empathy to the situation. Try to understand the other person’s perspective and feelings and acknowledge them without judging or blaming them.

Avoid Playing the Blame Game

In the middle of a heated argument, it is easy to start blaming others. However, blaming others does nothing but drive a deeper wedge into an issue and keeps all those involved feeling unheard and unappreciated. Instead of focusing on who is right or wrong, focus on what can be done to improve the situation and prevent future problems.

Take the Time to See Both Sides

When you first encounter conflict, it may be hard to grasp what the other party’s arguments are. Listen to what is going on and try to find common ground and areas of agreement with the other person. Recognize that there may be valid reasons for their actions or opinions, even if you do not necessarily agree with them. Stay away from making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

Take a Step Back

Sometimes it helps to take a break from the conflict for a few minutes and give yourself the opportunity to calm down before continuing the conversation. This can prevent you from saying or doing something you might later regret. Also, use this time to reflect on your own role in the conflict and what you can do or should have done differently.

Avoid Overgeneralizations

Stay away from words like “always” or “never” when describing the other person’s behavior or attitude. These words can make them feel attacked and defensive, both of which will escalate the conflict further. Instead, focus on using specific examples and facts to support your point of view.

Foster an Empathetic Workplace

By creating a culture of respect and compassion in your workplace, you can help prevent or reduce conflicts from appearing in the first place. You can do this by expressing appreciation for your coworkers, giving constructive feedback, offering help when needed, and celebrating successes together.

Seek Mediation When Necessary

If you cannot resolve the conflict on your own, you may have no other option but to involve a neutral third party who can help you reach a mutually acceptable solution. This could be a manager, a human resources representative, or an external mediator. A neutral mediator can help you listen to each other, clarify misunderstandings, and find areas of compromise in order to reach a conclusion that will satisfy all involved.

Conflict is inevitable in any workplace, but it does not have to be destructive. With the right skills and attitude, you can de-escalate and resolve it in a positive way.

Express Anger in A Productive Way

It is important to keep in mind that anger is a normal and valid emotion, and you may find that it springs up in unexpected situations. Yet, it’s how you deal with it that matters which is why it is important to find ways to express your anger in a healthy way. Here are some ideas.

• Think before you speak – Take a few moments to calm down and collect your thoughts before saying anything and let others do the same.
• Express your concerns assertively – Once you’re calm, state your feelings and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
• Get some exercise – Physical activity can help reduce stress and release the tension that may cause anger. If you feel your anger rising, go for a walk, run, or do something else that you enjoy.
• Identify possible solutions – Instead of dwelling on what made you angry, focus on finding a way to resolve the issue. Be realistic about what you can and cannot change. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
• Learn to forgive – Forgiveness can help you let go of anger and resentment. If someone has hurt you, try to understand their perspective and accept their apology. If they don’t apologize, forgive them for your own sake.
• Use humor – Humor can help you cope with anger and see things from a different angle. Try to laugh at yourself or the situation, but avoid sarcasm or mockery that can hurt others’ feelings.